


Miracles (still exist)

by Anuna



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Coulson wants to fix things, F/M, Gen, Recovery, Redemption, SHIELD was shady as hell and didn't treat its people well, Skye is pissed off at Ward, but deciding what said justice entails isn't so simple, but she also still has feelings for him, canon compliant past abuse, discussion of abuse, discussion of betrayal, he also wants to bring Ward to justice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-12
Updated: 2014-05-12
Packaged: 2018-01-24 13:04:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1606217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anuna/pseuds/Anuna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>“Tell me, agent Coulson,” Sam pauses, “am I treating this man so he could feel properly guilty when you lock him up? Or put a bullet in his brain?”</i>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Natasha asked Sam to help with rehabilitation of two broken men. Sam approaches it as professionally as one can, considering the shady circumstances of his new assignment, even if said broken men aren't quite innocent. Sequel to <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/1501826">The River</a>. If you hate Ward this is not a story for you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Miracles (still exist)

**Author's Note:**

> This story was brought to you after many headcanons, freaking out over upcoming season finale, endless Grant Ward feels and frustration over people who want to feed him to the dogs or see him as the new Big Bad (which, IMO would be a waste of his entire storyline, especially considering the extent of his victimization. Long story short, I need his redemption story arc like I need air. Redemption I said, not handwaving what he's done.)

Sam has worked in worse places and had seen all kinds of fucked up, broken human beings. He's heard it all, from not being able to deal with with the sound of firecrackers under your window to seeing the weapon first and realizing you shot a teenager a second later. 

He's doing this for Steve, right, he wouldn't be doing this for anyone else, except he somehow got roped into coming over to Romanoff's ranch, as she calls it, and running something like a lost boys camp. Therapy camp. He knows Barnes by now, who is mostly quiet and observant, like he's trying to remember how to be a guy he's supposed to be. After two months his basic personality is showing itself and seems to match what Steve told him – Barnes appreciates jokes and good things. And he's a good friend. Even though he's still unsure around Steve (memories of the past or New York or both, Barnes doesn't say too much), it seems he's taken the other guy under his wing. 

The other guy, Ward. Sam sighs and glances at the watch and looks at the two men sitting by the lake. Barnes is mostly relaxed. That's such a monumental improvement. Ward looks like a teenager trapped in a thirty year old body, curled onto himself. Sam has seen fucked up, but between these two he can't decide who's doing worse. Barnes doesn't remember himself and keeps swimming upstream against amnesia induced onto him through years. At the same time Ward remembers himself but has no idea who he _is_.

Sam's phone beeps. He glances at the text and thinks, you better pay me well for this, Romanoff. 

*

The nearly bald guy introduces himself as an Agent Coulson, and Sam is tempted to ask _agent of what_ before he sits at the table. Steve looks unsettled by Coulson's presence, while Romanoff looks calm and collected. Sam knows by now that doesn't have to correspond her true state. There's a girl with agent Coulson, big brown eyes, long brown hair and a strange name, and she looks at them all suspiciously. 

“Agent Romanoff tells me you made certain progress with Agent Ward,” Coulson says. 

Sam shifts. The agent thing is bothering him. The guy looks at Sam with something like polite impatience. Sam looks at Romanoff and she nods just slightly. 

“You can say that,” Sam says, carefully weighing his words. The girl, Skye, frowns. 

“What does that mean?” the man asks. Sam narrows his eyes. They came here with an agenda. That’s what his gut tells him, and no, Sam doesn't intend explaining how waking up from nightmares after sleeping clenched like a fist is a progress. He has no intention of telling anyone with an agenda how Ward can stand relaxed at one moment and clamp shut at another, physically curling inward like an animal trying to make himself smaller. He's a six foot tall man who can kill bare handed and has a mentality of a fifteen year old waiting to be hit. He doesn't want to kill and doesn't know how to do anything else, so Barnes, the guy with nearly complete amnesia, teaches him how to fix roofs. Sam doesn't know all of it, but he's heard enough to make more than just an educated guess about how life screwed Grant Ward over and what followed. 

“You can tell him,” Romanoff says and looks at Sam, nodding towards Coulson. “He's okay.”

Sam shifts. “It means he's feeling safe enough to develop depression,” Sam says. Coulson looks confused, the girl looks pissed off. “When you remove someone from, say, an abusive home, they often don't break right away. They break when they know it's safe enough to break.”

“Wait,” Skye says with an incredulous look on her face. “You're saying he was abused? _Abused?!_ Please,” she leans back into her seat. Sam tells himself to remain calm. People think they know everything about this because of TV and media and thousand uninformative articles in newspaper. And that's not even the tip of the ice berg. 

“I think it's safe to say that there wasn't time when he _wasn't_ abused.”

Sam lets this sink in. Skye looks uncomfortable. Coulson clears his throat. 

“It doesn't excuse what he's done,” he says. Well, duh, Sam thinks and takes a deep breath. 

“Tell me, Agent Coulson,” Sam pauses, “am I treating this man so he could feel properly guilty when you lock him up? Or put a bullet in his brain?”

“He killed innocent people,” the girl says. “He must be held responsible.”

Romanoff looks at Skye first and then at Coulson. “Phil, do I need to remind you who I was before Barton decided he wouldn't kill me?” 

“That was different,” Coulson says. 

“I set a hospital on fire,” Romonoff deadpans. To his credit, Steve doesn't even shift. “Because someone paid me to. I'm not exactly innocent.”

“He betrayed us,” Coulson says. 

“I see,” Sam frowns. It finally makes sense. “I think you should bear in mind that he was betrayed too.”

“By whom?” the girl asks. 

“By everyone,” Sam answers seriously. “His family, his mentor, the organization he was working for. He got shot several times while doing SHIELD's work, didn't he? Did SHIELD ever realize he was in the hands of an abuser and a predator? Or did you guys miss that one out?” Coulson is about to say something, but Sam has had enough of this impromptu review board. “That organization you were working for? I don't know much about it, but what I did catch on is that its soldiers were more loyal to SHIELD than SHIELD ever was to its soldiers. Betrayal seems to be kind of a running theme with you guys,” Sam says and Coulson looks now like someone whose most painful nerve has been hit. “Look, man,” Sam keeps his tone calm even though this conversation is not okay, not comfortable and definitely not professional, but he's dealing with terrorist organizations and secret agents now. Things aren't exactly normal. “If you want to build a better thing, a better agency? That's one thing you gotta fix.”

With that Sam gets up. “You can talk to him if he agrees. I'll go get him.” 

*

“Who is that?” the girl, Skye, asks nobody in particular. She is standing near the window with her arms tightly would around her middle. Steve thinks it's to keep herself rooted in the spot. Outside Phil Coulson walks a few steps and then waits. Bucky and Ward pause at the gate – Bucky climbs the wooden fence and sits, while Ward warily continues in Coulsnon's direction. By now Bucky's metal arm is blatantly visible, and Skye seems to catch on. “Wait. Is that -?” 

Steve nears her. “That's my friend, James Barnes.” 

Skye looks at him. “James ...”

“Bucky Barnes, yes,” Steve nods. 

“But he is the -”

“Yes,” Steve says. “Hydra's soldier.” 

Steve concludes that Skye's expression matches a lot of things he's feeling. “Was Ward your friend?” 

Skye tightens her arms around herself. Outside, Sam walks over to Bucky, who keeps his eyes on Ward. Bucky always did that, he was always protecting (protecting Steve), and it's not a wonder that protecting someone helps him feel centered. 

“I don't know,” Skye finally says. It comes out quiet and without the anger she's been displaying earlier. Ward and Coulson talk, or rather it's Coulson who does the talking. Ward can't even look at him. “I don't know if anything he told me was the truth.” 

Steve nods sadly. He can relate in a way. He had a friend who will never come back and he assumes that's what Skye feels as well. Someone she knew never existed. 

“I might not get the old Bucky back, but I wanna know if there is anything of him left. If there are things he can remember,” Steve shoves his hands in his pockets and shrugs. “And what happens after this.”

“What do you mean?” Skye asks. 

“He's going to be someone else. And so will your friend,” Steve gives her a smile that's probably more a sad expression than a smile. “I wanna see if I like the guy Bucky turns out to be.” 

Skye shakes her head, but her gesture doesn't hold the same conviction as earlier. Steve thinks he can recognize someone clinging to their anger in order not to cave too early into undeserved forgiving. “Ward betrayed us,” Skye says. It sounds a lot like _Ward betrayed me_. 

“It's always harder to forgive your friends than your enemies,” Steve says. Outside, Coulson is still talking. Ward is nodding. Both look more relaxed. “But before you give up, maybe you should hear his story first. If he wants to tell it.” 

Skye presses her lips together. She doesn't nod, but she doesn't say no either; she just stares at the men outside. Steve wants to say something else, something that could comfort her, but before he is able to, she runs outside, walking quickly towards Coulson and Ward – before she changes her mind? 

Alone inside the room Steve smiles. Forgiving may be hard, it may be nearly a miracle, but it's not impossible. He looks at Bucky, managing a smile. Thankfully, thankfully, miracles exist.


End file.
